Superman Returns

Today I went to see Superman Returns at my local multiplex. More of that in a minute. I just thought I’d highlight what a joy it now is to pay my money and watch a film at the cinema.
It begins with the box office. There’s some stat that I’ve seen at work that says that something like 25% of all cinema bookings are now made online or over the phone in advance. Unless I really want to see a film at a busy time, I’ll never do this. I object to the fact that using a nice cheap and human-free method of booking tickets, I somehow have to pay a premium for my “booking fee”. So I was faced at the cinema with a queue of people being served by two attendants. The fact that there were another four empty desks and employees at large did not mean that they were going to put any extra staff on. One of the two that they did have on was helping someone fill out a complicated form for their “Unlimited” card. This took a while.
Next to the cashiers was a table that I’d not seen at this particular cinema before. It was staffed by a security guard who had a metal badge on that made him look like some kind of Sheriff. A sign on his table explained what he was there for. It was from FACT. It explained that for our security and to prevent unauthorised videoing of films there was a random bag search in operation. Incredibly, it went on to say that this was happening to ensure that this cinema was able to continue to show first run films!
What???
Am I supposed to believe that a film distributor in the fight against piracy is considering pulling films from cinemas? How does that help. If my local cinema isn’t showing first run films then surely I’m more likely to download dodgy versions, not less likely. Later, on my way out, I noticed that there were two other guards in the cinema. The ad reel also had one of those anti-piracy ads explaining why it was so much better to see Superman Returns in the cinema than on a dodgy download. One of the reasons given is that I wouldn’t get heads appearing in the middle of the video. Actually, yes I will. I went to an early screening that was full of kids going to and from the toilets. But more of that anon.
I should also mention that midway through the film, the security guard put his head round into our screen to make sure that I hadn’t somehow smuggled in a video camera and tripod. Or perhaps was using my camera phone to video the whole thing.f
Onto the concession stand where I just wanted a bottle of water. There were four staff on the stand, but only one was was serving. My screening was due to start soon so I bailed over the Ben & Jerry’s counter where I found I could also buy water. 750ml of water cost me £2.10!
Once seated, it was time for the ads. It’s a tough world in media at the moment, with much less advertising than you’d hope for at the moment. I expect that was why we saw not one, not two, but three road safety ads of various types. All showed pretty realistically what would happen if you weren’t careful.
Then it was onto the film. Superman Returns is a 12A in the UK which means that noone under 12 should be admitted unless accompanied by an adult, and that responsibility for taking children lies with the adult. This is a great idea, but not enough parents really understand it. The BBFC don’t rate these films lightly. So quite why so my parents felt that their toddlers could come and see Superman is a bit of a mystery. There are scary bits in the film. There mightn’t be any gore, but he gets a good beating at times, and Lois Lane is in peril in a few places. As a result, kids were toing and froing from the toilet all the way through. They were also seeking reassurance from parents by talking. This annoyed a man sitting in my screen today who told off the toddler in front of him. Queue a pissed off mum telling him to mind his own business. I felt a little sympathy for both parties. But if you really hate young kids in the cinema, don’t go to the pictures on a Saturday afternoon. Personally, I find the glow of people texting far more annoying.
Can I just say to cinemas that if they want to get box office figures back up they need to stop treating their customers like potential criminals and the experience so great that we’re going to want to come back again and again. That’s not what’s happening at the moment.
OK. Onto the film. Bryan Singer has taken on the franchise and he’s done a pretty decent job. I love the fact that unlike the revifalised Batman, he’s produced an effective continuation from the Christopher Reeve films – especially the early ones. Brandon Routh really looks like Reeves, and the film opens with John Williams majestic Superman Theme which is still awesome. Later we have Marlon Brando’s computer regenerated Jor-El.
The film does take a little while to get going until we finally get a big disaster sequence involving the launch of a space shuttle from the back of a jetliner. Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor is superb ably assisted by the amusing Kitty (Parker Posey). It’s interesting that in Superman’s Metropolis, despite the advent of 24 hour TV news, newspaper reading is still really strong – which is just as well for the Daily Planet.
The main problem that I always have with Superman is that he is “super”. That means that putting him, or the world, in peril is no mean feat without kryptonite somehow being present. It’s used here of course, but I’d hope that a sequel can be made without it. There are a few twists and turns along the way, but I won’t spoil anything here.
The most disappointing aspect of the film was surprisingly enough the CGI. Luthor’s boat was an entire CGI creation and really showed. The island he “makes” also ilooked mpressive but at the same time fake. I almost thought that the slight comic-book look was a deliberate attempt to take some of the realism out. I’m not sure though. It certainly wasn’t bad – like Die Another Day. It just wasn’t great. I really think that Peter Jackson still has set the benchmark. Although even relatively cheaply done TV work in, for example, Battlestar Galactica can be good.
So not bad. I’ll definitely look forward to a sequel.